Infatuation
by toiletseatgirl
Summary: Lana wonders if Lex is thinking of her. Please RR, it's my first LL fic.


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Infatuation

By: Claire P.  
Category: Smallvile, Lex/Lana  
Genre: Romance  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Lana wonders if Lex is thinking of her.  
Setting: New Year's Eve at the Luthor Mansion, doesn't really matter what year, I just needed a social gathering. Use your imagination.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the crayon I used to write this.

~ ** ~

__

If I could have just a moment of you

Would I be wanting more?

If I could have just a taste of you

Would I be addicted?

If I could have just a touch of you

Could I tear myself away?

~ ** ~

Lex stood far from Lana, talking to some nameless person. It was probably better for her; she had the chance for a full body view of him. She had finally gotten to the point where she had given up trying to stop herself from staring, and yes, even fantasizing about Lex Luthor. Now, she lived for the moments when she had the opportunity to get a glance of him, which were few and far between.

"Do you know that you always look like you have something on your mind?"

The voice broke into Lana's private thoughts, pulling her from her daydream.

"Do I?" she asked. She wasn't aware it was that obvious, and suddenly wondered if it was noticeable the millions of other times that she thought about Lex.

"Need someone to talk to?"

"No, but thanks, Clark." Lana felt guilty, because she really did want to talk to someone. It wasn't that she couldn't trust Clark or didn't feel comfortable talking to him, she just knew that it wasn't something he'd want to hear. It was obvious how Clark felt about her, she even considered being with him. She realized, though, that that would be taking the easy way out. Being with Clark would be the simple escape, it would be so easy to just give in and love him.

There would just be one little problem: she didn't care about Clark the way he wanted her too. Instead, she had developed an unhealthy desire towards a good friend of his.

Lana wasn't sure when this obsession with Lex began. He just subtly weaved himself into her life. Originally, the only times they spoke, their conversations were focused around Clark. But soon, they were able to meet with each other without having to use the pre-tense of her and Clark. And before she knew it, she found herself longing for Lex, and Clark was history.

Lana knew that no good could come of her feelings for Lex, but that wouldn't stop her. She wanted him. There was a mystery and an intrigue about him that was simply overwhelming. 

She sat there, watching him, studying his every move, memorizing each expression in fine detail. He had a certain charisma to him; he was one of those people that you knew were bright, just by watching them speak. He had her in a trance. She didn't care if her feelings went unnoticed, or were unrequited. For now she was content with admiring him from afar.

Lex turned, and his eyes met hers for a fleeting moment. Fleeting because Lana's eyes darted away and all over the room the second they met his. She could feel her heart racing, and she began to tremble, not that those feelings were unfamiliar to her when she was around him. She wondered if she was being ridiculous, and perhaps Lex hadn't noticed Lana staring at him. Or maybe he would choose to ignore it.

But what if he didn't? What if he decided to confront her and put her on the spot?

Or worse, what if he laughed at her? How would she defend herself?

She could feel someone approaching behind her. She knew it was Lex. She flipped through a million excuses in her mind to explain why she was starring at him. Maybe she did care a little if he knew about how she felt.

As she prepared to rationalize her actions, Lana watched the person approaching her walk right passed her… it wasn't Lex. She had been over-reacting. As she relaxed, she was filled with a feeling of relief.

"Boo." Lex's voice came from behind her, making her nearly jump out of her skin.

When Lana finally managed to get her voice back, she greeted Lex, "Hey…"

"You look like you're having a blast" he commented with a hint of sarcasm.

"It's not so bad," Lana's voice was quiet. She was so used to putting distance between them that now, with Lex's proximity, Lana felt anxious and uneasy. Could he tell how nervous she was around him?

"You know, if you're bored, you don't have to stick around here. You can go outside and get some fresh air, maybe take a walk. Or you can wander around this place, I wouldn't mind."

"I think I would get lost if I started wandering around…"

"So what?" 

Lana knew Lex was waiting for a response, but she didn't have any to give. She couldn't exactly say 'no thanks, I'd rather stay here and be near you'. So she just shrugged.

"Look, I just don't want you to be miserable. It's New Year's eve, enjoy yourself!"

"I'm not miserable," Lana told him.

"Sure you're not." Lex said back, obviously not believing her. He didn't provoke her, though; instead he just walked away.

After giving it some thought, Lana decided she could use some time away from him, and everyone, to get her emotions back under control. Trying to remain as indiscrete as possible, she slipped out of the room.

The Luthor mansion was much too large to see the majority of it, so she thought she would stick to the closest room behind a closed door. She opened it, walked in and flipped the lights on. A washroom. Not much to see there, she thought, so she moved on to the second closest room. It was a bedroom, too small to be for anyone that lived there, not to mention it was on the first floor. Her best guess was that is was for the drunks at any of their parties that couldn't make it home in their condition. The room was plain, only a bed, a small night table and a mirror were contained within it. No wallpaper, no pictures or personal touches. Not that she expected the Luthors would keep any photographs or anything in their own room, let alone a guestroom.

Lana was suddenly shocked by the sound of the door closing. It reminded her that she probably should have shut it when she came into the room. She turned around. No doubt, it was Lex standing before her. Once again, she felt herself trembling and her heart pounding.

"Lost yet?"

Lana shook her head. "No" she said, in the tinniest voice.

Lex walked closer to her. "I don't even know what this room is doing here. It was just empty space we had nothing to do with, really."

Lana nodded, much to the extent of her capabilities at the moment. Lex continued to walk towards her until there was barely a shred of light between them. Slowly, and a bit hesitantly, he moved his mouth towards her ear, brushing her cheek with his along the way and sending her mind spiraling from the contact.

"You know… there's a room upstairs that's virtually sound-proof," he whispered, "people could do anything in there—even yell—and no one would know." The meaning beneath his words took a moment to sink in for Lana.

Lana wasn't sure what to do with herself, she felt excited and anxious and eager. Her stomach was in knots, her mind was reeling, and her senses were overwhelmed from his words, his closeness, and his breath that lightly tickled her neck. He was close enough to kiss with great ease. And she was desperately tempted to.

Lex backed away just enough to look at her. His eyes were dark, and his gaze would not leave hers. She wasn't sure how long he was facing her, but with every second that passed, the need to kiss him grew. She didn't want much from him, no 'happily ever after' or 'til death do us part'. She just wanted to be desired by him, she wanted to touch him, she wanted to satisfy this craving for him.

In an instant, she decided take matters into her own hands. She threw her arms around him and pulled him into a kiss that she had been waiting and longing for from him for the longest time.

~ ** ~

__

I would pray to be the rain that runs over and in your skin

With no consequence

To be the liquid in your glass that falls around your lips and mouth

Swallow me

~ ** ~

Lex casually nodded, again. He wasn't paying attention to the words; they flowed in but never registered. Occasionally, he would put his own input into the conversation, or give a polite but distinguished laugh when cued. He could put on the show naturally when he needed too. Normally it was because he really didn't give a damn about what the other person was saying. 

This time, however, it was mainly because he was preoccupied. It happened a lot when she was within fifty feet of him. There was this blind spot to everything else but her, and he couldn't stay attentive to anything he was doing. At the moment, he was watching her out of the corner of his eye. He desperately wanted to look at her, even for just a quick glance. He waited for a break in the conversation he was having so he could look away.

Another cue to laugh. Finally, he was able to turn his gaze to her for the briefest of moments. He met her eyes momentarily before she quickly looked away and started fidgeting. Lex nearly did a double-take. Was Lana staring at him? Lex couldn't help the smirk on his face.

"Lex, we really should finish this conversation some time," the man facing Lex began to speak again. "Right now, though, I hear another glass of Merlot calling me." The man walked off in Lana's direction.

Lex wondered if he should go over there and talk to her. He just didn't know what to say, and 'hey, I noticed you were staring in my direction' didn't seem to appropriate. Plus, he was worried what response he would get.

After debating it, he decided to just try some small talk, it never failed. Lex slowly approached her until he was standing right behind her. He leaned down and whispered a quick "boo" in her ear, successfully startling her.

"Hey" she said, softly.

Lex made a sarcastic remark about how much she looked like she was enjoying herself. He noticed she hadn't moved much from that seat all night. Lana told him she was fine, but Lex could tell she felt out of place. He suggested a walk, which she refused, worried that she might get lost. That brought a smile to Lex's face as he thought of the possibilities of getting Lana lost in his home. He even let a "so what?" slip out before he could stop himself.

"I just don't want to see you miserable," he told her honestly, trying to get a smile or something out of her.

"I'm not miserable" she replied. That was a lie, he knew it.

"Sure you're not…"

Lex could see that he wasn't getting anywhere with Lana. He hoped that if he left her alone perhaps she would consider his advice. Sure enough, a short while after he walked away, Lex saw Lana leave the room.

Wanting to keep an eye on her, he left the party as well to follow her. As he walked down the corridor, he noticed an open door among the other closed ones, and figured she was probably in there. 

He peaked in and saw her examining the walls. Quietly, Lex walked into the room and gently shut the door behind him. Lana abruptly turned around to face him. She looked a little out of breath.

"Lost yet?"

Lana took a second to answer. "No."

For lack of anything else to say, Lex decided to explain the room to her. "I don't even know what this room is doing here. It was just empty space we had nothing to do with, really." He began to close the distance between them.

Lex wondered how Lana would react if he kissed her. He was close enough to, and he certainly wanted to. He almost did, but decided, instead, to lean into her ear. He paused briefly to brush his cheek against hers and indulge in the feel of her skin.

"You know…" he began to whisper, "there's a room upstairs that's virtually sound-proof. People could do anything in there—even yell—and no one would know." Lex regretted his words momentarily, hoping that they wouldn't scare her off.

He slightly adjusted his position so he could look her in the eyes. She was looking at him in a way that he could not read. He wasn't sure if it was dismay or passion.

Lex worried how long he could control himself for. He noticed her eyes trail down his face to his lips. She was thinking about kissing him, he could tell. He wondered if he should initiate it, or if she would kiss him first.

He got his answer when she threw herself around him so quickly and unexpectedly that he nearly fell over. Lex didn't waste any time. It didn't take long for him to deepen the kiss, and wrap his arms around her, trying to pull her as close to him as possible. He could feel her hands roaming over his back, his shoulders, as if trying to find something to hold on to. Lex tightened his grasp on Lana, not wanting to let go. He knew that the moment he did, he would have nothing left of her but the memory of feeling her body pressed up to him, her wandering hands, and her lips against his.

From the other room, they could hear a voice shout, "Two minutes till midnight!"

Lex could feel Lana pull away from him. It was a good thing, too, because he was about two seconds from pinning her up against the wall, and loosing any willpower he may have had left.

Lana's eyes were lightly shut and she was still clutching to his shoulders when she let out the faintest sigh that nearly drove Lex insane. His breathing was heavy, and he let his forehead meet hers, extending the moment for a while longer. He went to kiss her again, but knowing that he would not be able to pull away if he did, he planted a small kiss on the tip of her nose instead.

Taking a deep breath, he let go of Lana, and stepped away from her. Before he could give himself a chance to change his mind, he walked away and back into the party filled with the smiling faces of cheerful people. It depressed Lex that he wasn't still in Lana's company. Already, he was questioning just how real all that had happened with her had been.

~ ** ~

__

If I could have just a breath of you

Would you, could you infect me?

If I could have just a view of you

Would you leave your door ajar?

If I could have just a part of you

Let me drink of your tides

~ ** ~

--_Taste_, Lorna Vallings


End file.
